Yesterday morning, whilst shopping in the New Addington branch of LIDL, I was witness to an amazing exhibition of SEP. (SEP = Somebody Else's Problem).

The SEP field was invented by Douglas Adams in the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy as the way by which UFOs were shielded from view.

It meant that everyone saw them but no one took responsibility because "It was somebody else's problem".

Unfortunately this seems to have become a precursor for all modern day interaction with the other residents on this planet.

As I say, I went into LIDLs and, on entering noticed two women kneeling over a third woman who was prone on the floor. One of the kneeling women was on the phone and, as I could hear, was clearly talking to the ambulance emergency operator.

At this point there was not a single member of the store's staff even within sight.

As everything was plainly in hand I commenced my shopping.

When I reached the far end of the store I became aware of a gathering of store personnel, including the security guard, who were all obviously deeply engrossed in matters as far away from the front of the store as was possible, As I continued my shopping an ambulance arrived in the car park and the paramedics entered the store.

The LIDL staff maintained a healthy distance from actually getting involved!

When I finished selecting goods, and by now had been in the store about 20 minutes, the ambulance was just leaving as I joined the checkout queue.

As my goods were scanned and I was packing them, I asked the checkout operator what was going on.

She shook her head and said that she had no idea but that it seemed that the woman had collapsed and then laid on the floor for around 10 minutes before anyone had even mentioned it to her.

She did nothing citing that she couldn't leave the till.

And so it apparently fell to two members of the public to call the emergency services.

This woman had collapsed right at the top of the store nearest the entrance and right in front of the middle aisle so she MUST have been seen by other shoppers if not at least one member of staff.

However it seems that the woman was shielded by an SEP field that only two passers by could see through !

What the hell is going on these days? I'd sort of like to think that if I collapsed in a store someone would do something in less time that it would take me to die!

It seems not.

The store has a patrolling security guard; it has staff ostensibly walking round and stacking the shelves; it has a cctv system and NO ONE from the store saw or did ANYTHING and come to that neither did any member of the public other than 2 women and perhaps a 3rd who reported it to the checkout operator who couldn't leave the till.

Did the manager call button not work then?

As I left the security guard and a member of staff were comparing notes as to where they were when it happened, and then checked the floor where the woman had fallen plainly to see if it was wet or slippery.

Having assured themselves that it wasn't they went about their business, something which is quite plainly NOT keeping their eyes on actualy problems in house.

What a world!